


The Third Wheel In High Heels

by rosesinheavylight



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Awkward Dates, F/F, Third Wheels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-06
Packaged: 2018-08-26 23:56:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8379484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosesinheavylight/pseuds/rosesinheavylight
Summary: When Undyne wants to take Alphys out for a fun night, she finds that her "chaperone" isn't easy to shake off.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> woo, i'm trying to get the fanfiction juices flowing again (i haven't posted here since May jfc) so i'm gonna try and finish an old Alphyne fic I wrote out because that pairing still makes me really happy.  
> (Advice to any Mettaton writers: writing things for the Steam Powered Giraffe fandom really helps with robot descriptions n stuff.)

_"Aha! Another successful broadcast! Why would anyone expect less?"_

Mettaton came twirling into Alphys's lab in a flurry of self righteous applause. She gave him an uninterested side-eye, but smirked when he flopped his elbows on the desk space beside her and giggled in pleasure, catching his circuits before they overloaded.

It wasn't uncommon for him to make such a racket after one of his TV segments. The reptilian had to admit that she would be unbelivably lonely without someone else's voice echoing through the lab every once and awhile.

Well, that was mostly true until Undyne came crashing into her life.

When Mettaton wasn't hanging around, pestering her and trying to run his own inspections, the animated lover was stopping in to see how she was, and providing companionship and rabid encouragement while she whittled away at a new marvel. When your girlfriend spends her days secluded indoors for work, the Royal Guardswoman sometimes wondered if she needed air, whether it be in the form of an outing or social interaction.

Tonight was a night where Undyne had asked her out for a classic tradition that was recognizable by the humans as a "dinner and a movie" date. Alphys had hoped that it was something that they could have at home, but the fish was insisting they go out somewhere "really nice". They ended up compromising rented movies at Undyne's house rather than the theater, though. Alphys insisted it'd be better because _public movies were way more expensive._  
Undyne knew it'd be no fun if only one monster was calling the shots, so she couldn't help but agree with that. Plus, there honestly weren't any films out that she considered "good", anyways.

 

"Well, you're in a good mood." Alphys observed, and Mettaton retorted, "One must be in the world of show business, my dear."  
He looked back at her, and when he caught the light smile on her face he stopped pressing his hand over his forehead and then teased, "And I can see that you're in swell spirits, as well! What's on your mind?"

She flinched a little at his pry, and stared like a deer in the headlights of his blazing pink receptors. Her face darkened as she mumbled, "I...h-have a date tonight!"  
"What? Oh my...STOP THE PRESSES! What is this that I hear about dating?" Mettaton cried, his dolled-up, shaded eyelids lowering as a smug smile formed on his face. Alphys adjusted her glasses and elaborated without looking at him, "Yeah, Undyne and I are, uh...going to a fancy dinner. She and I are going to a good place, or at l-least...she says we are. I-"  
**FWUMP!**

When the reptilian looked over, Mettaton's humanlike body was facedown on the table, one arm still upright and his chassis still hissing from being powered up.

She frowned for a moment, furrowing her brow at the presumed uninterest he had in her talking, but then the familiar squeal of wheels came from behind her as Mettaton's box-shaped vessel was gushing at her, having appeared in a _DRAMATIC BODY CHANGE!_

"A date with the undying warrior of the Royal Guard! Oh my stars, this is marvelous! What are you going to be sporting to this rendevous, Alphys my darling?" She stared down at him, the red and yellow panels on his monitor flickering in a beating heart animation and his fingers intertwined in admiring patience.

"Er...I have this really nice dress in my closet, actually."

The robot threw his hands up and gasped, "Perfect! Let's get you fixed up and beautiful, then! Do not worry, Alphys, for Mettaton is the Metta- _con_ noisseur of beauty!"

"Mettaton, please." Alphys laughed nervously, "It's only a date. W-we've gone on them...before."

_"Uh-bp-bp!"_ The robot put a finger up at her and corrected, "It's a date that I'm going to make sure is the best date you've ever had! For the evening, I am your official _chaperone."_

The reptile's eyes widened even more then they already had been, and her mouth frowned in dread when she realized whose hands she was letting the night fall into: _a box with_ _legs._ If she had it in her to speak up, she would've told him that she could handle this endeavor long before he took and ran from her with it.

 

"Papyrus, are you serious? _No_ , I do not need a chaperone tonight!!"

Undyne made a sneer at no one in particular, a finned ear to her cellphone and the boisterous skeleton on the other line. She rolled her eyes and clarified, "Pap, this is sort of...PRIVATE matters, ya dummy! There's no reason for you to come along -- even if you can bring someone! Double dates are so frickin' lame.

...

**_YOU CANNOT BRING SANS, EITHER!!!_ ** "

She didn't understand the juvenile tradition of having a chaperone to a date. It wasn't flying in her neck of the woods.


	2. Chapter 2

The lab's front door nearly shook it off its hinges with hurried thuds. Undyne really didn't mean to rattle it as hard as she did, but Alphys had reinforced the entrance just because she knew what sort of people were knocking at her door.

_"Ooh!_ Oh no..." Mettaton's vaccum tube arm spazzed at the sudden noise, and Alphys yelped, "OW! Mettaton, y-you...did you just _stab_ my eye with that mascara brush??"

"...No, darling. It must've been a malfunction in my hand controls. My apologies, but it's not a trouble!" The robot insisted, and the scientist questioned patiently, "You still can't get the other eye quite right when you're doing makeup, huh?"

"Wh-what!? No!" The robot made an irritant buzz at the question, but when he turned back around with a rag, she had gone up to get the door. He could only watch as she carefully pushed it open and was greeted by the tall, blue and burgundy fish woman. The glow of Hotland illuminated off her leather jacket in an orange light, humid wind blowing her strawberry hair over left shoulder as she grinned widely at Alphys.

"Hey!" Undyne greeted, and the reptile's face went completely dark with the air knocked out of her from awe, adding to the doofy smudge of mascara on her right eye. With a cock of her head, the Guardswoman furrowed her brow in a cute confusion and asked, "Whoa, who did your makeup? I like the rough stud thing that eye's got going on! It's cute!!"

"It...it is?" Alphys smiled nervously, and Undyne insisted proudly, "Yes!"

"Oh, but wait until you see what I do next!" Undyne's eyes left the smaller stature of the scientist for the first time since the door had been opened, and almost flinched at the long-legged automaton coming forward, smiling in a concealed spite for her and basking in yet another shift from the box to the body. He asked, "Alphys, what color of eyeshadow do you fancy: Determination Red or Bravery Orange?"

"Er...I'm not sure!" The lizard shrugged, suddenly looking down at her black and white spotted dress. She commented, "I actually look fine without a-anything else, Mettaton."

Undyne only rose one of her arching eyebrows in judgement to him as he then stammered, "Oh! Well, that's right! You know best, right?"

Seeing a chance to give her two cents, the Guardswoman grinned as she then suggested, "Hey, yeah. Excuse me if I'm wrong, Mettaton, but don't you think Alphys has been on WAY more dates than you?" The robot's hurt expression grew cold as he rested his stare on her and Alphys quickly jumped in, "Well, actually-"

"I'll have you know, Miss _Leader of The Royal Guard,"_ Mettaton gave a mocking tone at the title, but then smiled sharply as he informed her with a high finger, "I'm actually going to be accompanying Alphys as the chaperone of your evening." He bowed, one leg crossed in front of the other as he assured, "Your plans are safe in my wise direction."

Undyne bristled at this, her jaw falling open and her sharp teeth baring at the idea of having to spend a night with a chaperone -- and not just any chaperone: _METTATON._

She was about to spat at him in defiance, but then remembered who she had actually come for. Looking back down to Alphys, she pulled together a sentence under the water of her fury beginning to boil. "So, uh, besides _that_...You ready to hit the town...cute stuff?" Alphys's eyes grew wide, and her worried frown quickly rose to an eager smile as she exclaimed, "Sure! ...Where are we going?"

"I told ya, somewhere nice." Undyne gave one last still look at Mettaton, a big smile frozen on her face, and before the robot could move in reaction she tucked the smaller monster under her arm and took off at a full sprint.

"AHAHAHAHA! NO CHAPERONE FOR US, METTA-WEIRDO!"

The robot shouted, "UNDYNE!" but the two women were already far down the trail that lead away from Hotland and back through Waterfall. The robot clenched his gloved fists for a moment, staring in an utter betrayal that was felt in the heart that shone against his stomach.

He took in some air, frowning as he lowered his eyelids again, though it was completely unnecessary for him to breathe. He sputtered in a slipping calm facade, "We'll see whose with who by the end of tonight, you...you..."

Unable to find a witty name, he just let it go and hissed, "FISH!"

 

"You know," Alphys sighed, "I really should've s-stopped him from trying to accompany us before you stepped in...I didn't r-really think he'd, uh...let me do anything with you if h-he were still with us."

"Seriously, hon." Undyne groaned, hands in her jacket pockets, "He gives me a bad energy. It makes my scales crawl whenever I see him." The scientist nervously defended him,

"B-but, he _is_ my invention, so I like to help him when I can."

Approaching a town that blew nipping wind in the two monsters' faces, Alphys asked, "What sort of restaurant are you taking me to, Undyne? I apologize for asking so much about it, but I'm getting too curious now!"

Undyne tipped her chin up a little bit, and she finally revealed in a proud voice, "Grillby's. Ever been there?"  
The lizard frowned a little in a puzzling countenance, and replied, "I don't think so..." She then shrugged and smiled again as she assured, "But I don't mind trying new things! Is the food good?"

"You better believe it! It's one of the best!" Undyne assured. She playfully tipped her head to one side so her ponytail just brushed over Alphys as she pondered, "Buuut not as good as my cooking. I'm just saying..."

The lizard let out a little giggle, causing the monster to bear her teeth in pride again, and they picked up their pace.


End file.
